Sobriety can be a scary thing. In my experience, everyone reacts to fear differently. One common way to deal with fear is dishonesty. If you’re afraid of the consequences of your actions, you might just lie to cover your tracks. We keep secrets from loved ones to protect them from the truth. We lie to ourselves to protect our ego.
Opening up to yourself and others is something to try once you begin to get to the self-discovery portion of sobriety. After the cravings and anxiety subside, you might find yourself with time to really think about your relationship to alcohol. Take advantage of this time, as this is where self improvement happens. If you’re able to be honest with yourself, there’s no telling how far you can go.
If you’re unable to be honest with yourself, you can easily slip back into destructive habits. If you can’t admit that your relationship with alcohol could use some work, you’ll never get started. Opening up and being honest with yourself and others is one of the first steps to recovery. In fact, the first of the 12 steps in AA is about admitting to ourselves and others that we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.
It’s hard to admit weakness, but I promise it will be worth it. If your car had a flat tire, it would be useless to lie to yourself about it. You also won’t gain anything by being dishonest with the mechanic. People will find the truth eventually, so it’s better to admit your weakness early.
In some cases your flat tire can be patched, re-inflated, and you can get back on the road. For some it will be much more work, but I will honestly tell you that I’m glad I pulled over and fixed my tire before more damage could be done.
#SoberOctober Day 13