When I was drinking heavily, coffee* was a desperate cure. I could not get it fast enough, and no amount of coffee would make me feel like a human again. Still, I would drink as much of it as I could, thinking it would cure my hangover and give me some feeling of normality after a night drinking alcohol.
To this day, I still drink a fair amount of coffee. My relationship with coffee, like my relationship with alcohol, has changed. I no longer gulp down any coffee I can get my hands on as quickly as possible. I no longer drink endless cups. I no longer consume it like an addict.
That being said, I am still addicted to coffee. My habits run strong, and I thought that if I quit drinking alcohol for a month, it would be a mistake to drop another vice at the same time. Coffee is comparatively cheap, and flows like water in AA meetings, so I thought it might help me stay on the wagon.
Since those first shaky days, weeks and months of sobriety I’m at a much better place with coffee. One good strong cup can usually last me all day. Instead of a quick cup of garbage, or spending $5 on something from a cafe I will make a single-cup of espresso for myself at home. Taking care to follow the steps to ensure the best possible brew.
The routine of making these special cups of coffee now fills me with the same kind of joy I used to get from alcohol. These early mornings with me, myself and a coffee pot are cherished more than any happy hour. The smell of the beans, the sound of the water boiling, the calmness of a finely made cup of coffee centres me and makes my morning wonderful.
Now I enjoy starting the day with a cup of coffee, instead of using it to hit fast-forward on a hangover.
*Coffee isn’t for everyone… Substitute tea or any other morning drink and I think you’ll get the idea.
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